he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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