I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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