dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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