i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Of course I have a pirate flag
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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