I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
