out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
