Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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