I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
