I can't breathe out the right side of my face
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
