Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
