This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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