Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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