hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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