i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
