fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
