he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
