remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
