Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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