Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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