Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
