plz talk dirty to me
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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