Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
