just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
