I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
