Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
