I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
