Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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