Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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