I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
