We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
