she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
