I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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