You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
