i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
