1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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