i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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