There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
