I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
