I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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