and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
