Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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