Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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