wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
