eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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