I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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