the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Found the puke drawer
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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