It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Randomize
