Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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