lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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