Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Duck Duck Cougar?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
