wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
