Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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