You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
